Weblog

Tuesday, 07 July 2009

  • On a Disappointment

    According to my plans since September, I was to be in China right now on a five week mission trip.  When that trip got canceled because of the way China is handling foreigners right now, it was a very tearful morning... here's a glimpse from my journal of some of what I've been wrestling with with God.

    God, I’m trying to understand.  And I know I don’t need to.  Thank you for showing my sin in several areas:  I was prideful about mission, am prideful.  I’ve adopted it as my mission, not God’s.  Lord, grant me humility and surrender, that I may not puff myself up, but only recognize Your true dimensions.  I don’t have enough faith, god.  I know that You’ve always provided the funds for ministry, now I have to trust you to give me the money to live.  that is so much harder, God, because I feel like it’s “regular,” and the regular should be my responsibility through regular means.  But no means of support is regular, because You hold all creation together.

    Lord, increase my faith to meet this circumstance with grace and joy.  Why am I so sad?  Disappointed hopes?  Changing expectations?  I’d like to say it’s because I was so passionate about the kids in China meeting you that the loss of their souls broke me, but that’s not true.  I think it’s confusing that I thought I was doing Your will, was so set on obeying You in this way, that the way took over the obedience.  Lord, widen my focus back off of doing things to loving You.

Wednesday, 17 June 2009

  • 10 Reasons My Job is Better than Yours

    So maybe it’s a bit odd being the only woman working at a construction site, but it’s money, right?  And there’s lots of reasons why it’s way better than your job.

    1) Power tools.  Ladies, you may not all understand this, but the inherent awesomeness of a job increases exponentially with the number of power tools involved.  In construction, there’s power tools in every task, and the high number required makes this job exponentially awesome.  In fact, I don’t really even need another reason, but in case there’s people who also work with power tools reading this:   

    2) Magic.  Things move by themselves.  Half the time when I pick up something heavy, it becomes weightless and a voice asks “where do you want it?”  How cool is that?

    3)  It’s active.  So I wake up too late to go for a run?  Who cares?  I get an eight hour workout every day!

    4)  It’s outside.  Besides the freedom and fresh air this brings, I get to work on my tan.

    5)  My co-workers are awesome.  My boss is the dad of a family I grew up with – the boys (now men) are for all practical intents and purposes, my brothers.  Who gets paid to hang out with three of their best friends?  Me!  And we have fun, let me tell you – between insulting each other horribly and solving the healthcare issue, it is never dull.

    6)  My boss.  He takes the time to teach why you’re doing something as well as how to do it.  He gives clear instructions, he has time for questions, he rolls with it when you make mistakes.  One of the hardest things about other jobs for me is that it’s hard for another boss to be as good as him.

    7) Being friend as well as employee.  This solves a lot of problems – my dad forgot to pick me up?  That’s okay, Shards, just eat dinner with us!  Ripped the seat out of my work jeans?  I just had to borrow from one of my “brothers”.  Having trouble figuring out among my family how to get us to four different places with only two cars?  Fine!  The boss lets me borrow his car. 

    8)  Learning how things work.  I’ve always been fascinated by the way things go together and operate.  Being part of building a house lets me see how all the pieces fit.  I learn about the engineering of how load is distributed through certain ceiling structures and that the way finished boards fit so nice together is because they’re cut specially to lap over one another.  It makes the job intriguing.

    9)  Practical skills.  From wiring a house to shimming a door frame straight, I’ve learned things that will come in handy in the future.  For instance, when my family had a circuit in our house that wasn’t working, I guessed the route the circuit took and sure enough, it was right – fixing things is a lot faster when you have a good idea of how they’re laid out. 

    10) It’s cooler because it’s mine!  All MINE!  (My precious? No.)  Actually, I just needed a reason number 10, and playing with mud (drywall mud!) didn’t seem significant enough to make a reason all by itself.)

Tuesday, 26 May 2009

  • Currently
    The Lord of the Rings - The Return of the King (Widescreen Edition)
    By Viggo Mortensen, Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, Noel Appleby, Alexandra Astin
    see related

    Bright and Morning Star

    You are the bright and morning star
    You are the flame within my heart
    You are the life of all who are
    You are the watcher of the night
    You are the victor in the fight
    You are the ray of heaven’s light

    Firstborn of all creation
    You form the hearts of nations
    We bow in adoration To the Lord of all
    All things you hold together
    You rose to reign forever
    Your greatness none can measure
    You are Lord of all

    You are the bright and morning star
    You are the flame within my heart
    You are the life of all who are
    You are the watcher of the night
    You are the victor in the fight
    You are the ray of heaven’s light

    Radiance of God’s own glory
    You wrote creation’s story
    And angels kneel before – we
    Praise the Lord of all
    Indwelling fullness of God
    From dark your people you brought
    Redeeming peace your blood bought as the
    Lord of all

    Firstborn
    Glory
    Savior
    For me
    Shining
    Mystery
    Reigning
    In history
    You are Lord of all

    You are the bright and morning star
    You are the flame within my heart
    You are the life of all who are
    You are the watcher of the night
    You are the victor in the fight
    You are the ray of heaven’s light

    As always, critiques and recommendations are most welcome. :)

Wednesday, 20 May 2009

  • Currently
    The Lord of the Rings - The Fellowship of the Ring (Widescreen Edition)
    By Noel Appleby, Sean Astin, Sala Baker, Sean Bean, Cate Blanchett
    see related

    One of a Thousand

    Cry out! For my sins overwhelm me
    Cry out! For I’ve lost all I am
    Cry out!  God’s anger is on me
    Cry out! I cannot survive His hand

    If there is
    One of a thousand
    If there is
    One to stand between
    If there is a Giver of mercy
    To move between the wrath of God and me
    I will sing
    To the one of a thousand
    I will shout
    To the man found between
    I have sinned and been saved by Your mercy
    I will sing for I have been redeemed.

    Look!  See God’s reproof is blessing
    Look! At the grace of His hand
    Look! And see Him bind the wounded
    At the end the Redeemer will stand

    See! Christ coming in glory
    See! He’s torn down the veil
    See! God’s grace and His justice
    As Christ intercedes without fail

    If there is
    One of a thousand
    If there is
    One to stand between
    If there is a Giver of mercy
    To move between the wrath of God and me
    I will sing
    To the one of a thousand
    I will shout
    To the man found between
    I have sinned and been saved by Your mercy
    I will sing for I have been redeemed.

    As always, critiques and suggestions for the song are appreciated. :)

Monday, 18 May 2009

  • Currently
    Fangs!
    By Falling Up
    see related

    Assumptions

    Many people have influenced my life, tweaked the shape of how I think, but since I reached adulthood, only my best friend’s fiancé had wrought a noticeable change to my vocabulary.  He’s almost completely eradicated two words from not only my speech, but also my thought and the way I view my own actions:  try and assume.  And really, to be precise, we don’t assume things nearly as often as we claim to (rather, we guess, conclude, think, or opine them) and we assume many more things than we really should.  For instance, the times when I have been most angry at a person have been due to assumptions in communication – eliminate the assumptions, ask questions, search out the root, the rhyme and the reason, and the problem itself is revealed to be a construct of conflicting inaccurate suppositions.  My ability to comfortably maintain assumptions as well as my use of the word has been drastically reduced to an infinitesimal fraction of what it once was.

    All the same, some assumptions are unavoidable.  For instance, I assume God.  I see evidence of His work everywhere, I am confident that He is real, that God is who the Bible says He is, but behind all the apologetics and arguments lurks the fact that God cannot be crushed into a box of cut and dried cases, He cannot be proven (or disproven) and while He can be experienced, He cannot be quantified.  When every thesis is stripped away and theorems are reduced to the form of proof, even the most self-evident truth is reduced to postulates.  Assumption:  God is.

    Science, some may claim, is logical.  It’s far more rational than faith because it needs none of those assumptions.  But it has premises as well: can you prove to me, using logic, that sensory observation is accurate? Science is based on what we can see, hear, touch, taste, smell, measure and observe.  At some point, you have to assume that those senses actually provide accurate data:  you have to assume that the world is real and not a construct of your consciousness.  The idea that the world follows rules is an assumption as well.  All the laws of nature, thermodynamics, motion, optics, magnetism, and gravity can only be discovered by inductive reasoning, which carries the assumption that certain attributes of the universe’s mechanism can be extrapolated from the way matter behaves.  Even though a ball released in midair falls to the ground 3,785,426 times, it still requires an assumption of the law of gravity to conclude that it will certainly fall to the ground the 3,785,427th time (though a non-assumptive, perfectly logical deduction would be that there is a ridiculously high probability that it will fall to the ground again).  All to say, science has assumptions as well.

    Together, it reaches this point:  since you must assume something, pick your assumptions carefully.  What you assume determines your highest values, your deepest fears, you ideas of how the world works, your choices and desires.  What you postulate determines your naiveté or wisdom in facing the world, your understanding or frustration in relating to people, even the direction you take your life from this day forward.

    What do you assume that you probably shouldn’t?  What assumptions do you make that affect who you are as a person?

  • 3 of 6 plugz on my inbox are Theo Dan's at this moment.  With that, how am I supposed to use plugz to find NEW people to read?
  • Me and 1.5 hours of sleep do not mix.  Must... survive... classes...
  • "The glory of Jesus is that he is always out of sync with the world.  If he fit nicely, he would be of little use." - John Piper
  • I just got paid twice the going rate for playing violin at a church... amazing how God knows my needs and provides for me. :)
  • One fun thing about helping plan my best friend's wedding is the random messages I get about random wedding things all the time.